My Disability

Let me be clear. I am disabled.

I have nerve damage caused by a condition known as Rapid Onset Beriberi. While we were able to catch it before it affected my heart, some of the damage in other areas could not be reversed. At this point, the condition is stable and not expected to worsen as long as I continue my treatment and supplements.

Over the years, I’ve learned how to live and work with this disability. I know that at some point, questions may come up about what it means for my ability to work or serve, and I want to address that directly.

My nerve damage is intermittent—it does not affect me every day. Some days, my hands or feet feel numb or “fuzzy.” Occasionally, I experience muscle spasms, especially if I’ve been working hard and don’t stay on top of my hydration and electrolytes. Because of that, I’m careful about what I put into my body. I regularly drink water with electrolytes and take supplements. Even with that, symptoms can still occur, but those habits significantly reduce their severity.

At times, I also use a cane due to past knee injuries and balance issues. These instances are rare and typically last only a few hours to a day.

All of this is to say: I understand my limits, and I understand my strengths. Over time, I’ve learned when to push forward and when to step back. That awareness is how I manage my health responsibly. On most days, even my blood pressure stays close to ideal, aside from occasional flare-ups.

If you want to learn more about the condition, I’ve included a couple of resources at the bottom.

As for why this happened, we don’t have a clear answer. I was not heavily drinking alcohol at the time, which is a common cause. Stress may have played a role, and earlier in my life I worked in a demanding cooking career. From the testing we’ve done, we know this is something of a mystery, and one that may never be fully explained. Ultimately, it’s something I’ve had to adapt to rather than fully understand why.

I sometimes refer to it as my “short circuit.” And yes, I still make a little humor out of it—because as a former cook, being diagnosed with something that sounds like a bad ice cream flavor (“beriberi” sounding like “very berry”) is hard to ignore. For the record, I’m a mint chocolate chip guy.

This didn’t happen early in my life it happened about a dozen years ago. I know what it’s like to be healthy, and I know what it’s like to become disabled. I had to rebuild my career and I still go to school for that. At one point, I was sleeping on the streets while dealing with this condition. That experience shaped how I understand hardship, stability, and what people actually need to get back on their feet.

Since then, I’ve continued to move forward. Through volunteer work, my time at Portland Community College as a student senator, and even as a national candidate for Phi Theta Kappa—where I advanced to the final four out of candidates across the country—I’ve proven that I can show up, contribute, and lead. I did all of that while disabled, and I continue to do more every day.

What matters most is I know how to manage my condition, I continue to show up, do the work, and move forward. I would not run if I do not think I couldn’t do that to the level I expect of myself and of the position.

Resources:
https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/000339.htm
https://www.webmd.com/brain/what-is-beriberi